Beco do Julião

O Beco Do Julião (translated: Julião´s Alley) is the main Headquarters of César Editoras. It was "rented" in 2010 as the company´s office, but being an abandoned building, it soon became unnecessary to pay rent for the place´s usage.

The HQ was used from 2010 until July of 2014 and from September 2014 to the present day. This gap in 2014 happened due to a necessity of cost reductions and an overall cleaning of the building. In August 2014 César Editoras travelled to Asia in order to gain inspiration and spread their work throughout the ever growing businesses in the continent. This travel required big expenses in mobilization and therefore and for unknown reasons the company temporarily left Beco Do Julião to relocate to Boqueirão do Duro, another deserted building, that for some reason would not be as expensive to handle as the previous and current location. This cost reduction is believed to result of the fact that Beco Do Julião requires many maintenace and also, while the staff was away, someone to look after it and guard it.

Location and Appearence
Beco Do Julião is tecnically the alley´s name, the house hosting the company being one adajcent to the refered space. Located in Campo de Ourique (Lisbon, Portugal), the house was already abandoned and falling apart at the time of its ocupation. Nevertheless it was well situated and near several important places to the company´s action.

The front of the two storey building is yellow painted and appears burnt and vandalised. The front door is green painted and its glass windows are broken, being covered up with wooden planks. Its number is 138 and there is a Bus stop in fron of it. The inside was never shown by the company because, as said by o Gomes: "If we were to show you the inside we would be quite likely sued".

Albeit being visually a mystery to the reader, brief descriptions of its inside made throughout texts written in the official website made clear that Beco do Julião has more than two empty rooms, one office, quite likely at least one bathroom, presumably no balconies and it does not seem very large in lenght nor width.

Even though it looks empty, major works done by the company, such as books and albums, were produced there, meaning that equipment was brought to the HQ, making it minimally suitable for these projects.

Equipment
Besides the basics inside Beco Do Julião (i.e. Toilet (presumably)) César Editoras had to equip its Headquartes in order for the company to work as intended and to deliver its promises on time.

The office, where the work usually takes place, when it takes place, is, quoting André Lazarra, "the biggest room in the first floor. It has a gaze of light coming through a hole in the woodwork covering our windows and an old floor lamp we use mainly at night. The walls have minor holes, but the paint, although spent is still up. The ceiling, despite being unstable has never fallen. We have one rectangular meetings desk with room for six people, easily our more modern object inside the house. Every single one of us has a desk, apart from Viktor (Khazyumhov) who cleans our building. To store papers we use an old wardrobe we found there. The fact that none of us wanted to move it when we first rented the place turned that room into the office immediately. I´m still the only one who owns a computer, only because I bought it, but every one uses it.

When a major project takes place equipment such as recording gear and printing gear is placed in a specific room inside the HQ.

Notorious Events
Being the place where César Editoras´ members spent most of their time working, Beco do Julião is almost everytime involved in their projects, for there is where ideas usually arise. When o Beco do Julião is directly involved in the company´s action, the latter leads to the HQ´s soiling and destruction.

2014
On the 29th of May rumours emerged that André Lazarra was receiving sexual services around the workplace. These rumours were heavily discussed, for the linguistic consultant is an extremely loyal client in Parque Eduardo VII and Artilharia 1, both in Lisbon, being awarded what he likes to call a discount which o Gomes later found out was a non mutually agreed lack of payment.

On the 22nd of June a Barbecue was organized in Beco do Julião to be held while the participants would watch the World Cup Game Portugal vs. USA. Having a entry fee, the event had no attendance whatsoever.

On June the 28th an incredible situation happened in which there was, inside Beco do Julião, an outbrake of Syphilis. The virus was spread when hobos invaded the HQ and engaged in sexual activities with its Gear. Later André Lazarra sharpened his pencil and contracted the disease, giving it to a prostitute he met later on the same day. The same prostitute was recomended to o Gomes by Lazarra. The recomendation was accepted and soon enough both realized they had contracted Syphilis. The thought that Lazarra gave the disease to o Gomes, albeit in an indirect way, was never well accepted by both, and some believe that this situation was the cornerstone in their following unhealthy and hateful relationship.

On the 1st of July Beco do Julião was left temporarily by the company for financial reasons. O Boqueirão do Duro was then adopted as the new HQ until early September, when the first one was reinstated.

On December the 31st, New Year´s Eve, o Gomes oragnized an event called "RevéillBOM", an unfortunate pun meaning "Good Revéillon". The point of this event was for clients and fans to come closer to the company, by paying a fee and celebrating the year of 2015 and the mediocre success César Editoras had in 2014. The party was a fiasco as no one appeared, even though for 2500 euros the payer would be able to have dinner, supper, open bar, champagne, his own vomitory and a "slightly used" 1998 VW Golf.

2015
On the 11th of January André Lazarra found a huge blood stain in a wall inside Beco do Julião. Later it was found that o Gomes had been sexually assaulted some days before thus producing said stain. First the intern lawyer denied knowing where the blood came from, but after having been caught trying to wipe it off the wall suspicions appeared and he was arrested for investigation. Only behind bars (for he did not mutter a word) did he confess his demons. An expert investigation declared the lawyer´s statements true.

From the 20th of January until the 22nd a battle was held inside o Beco Do Julião after a hobo invasion occured, which was the result of one of the members of the invadors having been shot moments before. The three days battle was ended when Viktor Khazyumhov, who was asleep from being previously drunk, awoke and shot the remaining hobos.

2016
On the 9th of July it was announced that César Editoras' Headquarters' interior would be fixed and renewed. The recovery works consisted of replacing the "old rotting wooden floor", digging a very deep hole that reached the earth so that physiological necessities could be absorbed, the installment of a Kitchen, fixing the roof, exterminating several bugs spread across the building and so on. The company invited its followers to do a management and leadership internship with its employees "for a fair sum", given that many migrant workers would be hired.

The Famous Water Pipe
The pipe in question is one of the best known landmarks outisde the César Editoras´ HQ. The water pipe was made "available" to the readers since the very beginning of the official website, when, asking for money, the writer would usually finish his text by clearly stating that any financial contribution should be placed behind the water pipe, to be collected later by one of the César Editoras´ members. The water pipe technic was eventually abandoned for to access the pipe a gate would have to be opened and, for "many" or most contributors it could turn the task into something undoable due to the wait and ocasional opening refusals. It is not known and there is no official data on whether César Editoras have ever received any contribution whatsoever through this method.

Animals
Beco do Julião has been throughout its ocupation by César Editoras a breeding ground for families of Cockroaches, who thrive on its waste, lack of cleaning, many holes, hollow walls and a carefree Personnel.

Stray Dogs have also been mentioned several times as a problem. On this issue Viktor Khazyumhov, Janitor, states that he doesn't know "how do they get in, every thing is ever so tidy all the time". The way the unsuspecting visitors are handled is yet to be disclosed. Khazyumhov says: "People outside do not and want to know what happens to the filthy intruders? They need not worry, for neither do the dogs".

Lice outbrakes have been reporte, as well as Crab Louse.

Hobos
One of the biggest themes whenever Beco do Julião is mentioned is its relationship with Hobos. César Editoras has never officially claimed to be legally occupying its Headquarters, so many times its personnel, usually Viktor Khazyumhov, has to throw out one or two unwelcome individual.

On New Year's eve of 2014 o Gomes dined with 5 hobos, after preparing a party for other targets. Around a fortnight later (January 2015) he was also sexually assaulted inside César Editoras' Headquarters, allegedly by a Hobo who had previously made attempts to gain his consent. The same year, when César Editoras opened an Intern Lawyer vacancy, it alerted to "several Hobo invasions [which] will happen". When César Editoras restored Beco do Julião in July 2016, it focused heavily on reinforcing its facade in order to fight future invasions.